I have this conundrum in my soul where I want to bone and be Yuzuki Reon; I'm not confused, I just want to occupy both spaces at once because she is so fucking perfect.
- I graded most of today. Big whoop.
- Skedaddled to a talk by a prospective spousal hire and I am excited by her potentially joining our department!! She's an Africanist, researching Igbo storytelling narratives surrounding the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. As far as I can tell this department has never had an Africanist, which is frustrating and ridiculous, and practically no Black people in faculty ranks, which is even more ridiculous. As a result we don't have any Black grads either. I'm hoping this will change.
- Started reading Matt Hill's FAN CULTURES and it begins with a critique of a moralistic dualist approach to studying fan cultures, namely, the "productive" fan versus the "consumer" fan, also "fan-community" vs. "fan-commodity". Hill is trying to trouble this, and also the idea of the "fan vs academic" and the terrible positions academic fans like to take in being a fan but trying to hang onto institutional authority. It has no discussion on how basic gender and race analysis might affect this (although there is a single mention that most of current theories are out there written by white dudes). IDK if I should continue reading this or if I should read the Consumer Culture Reader first.
- I also set out a buncha cue cards listing some things I'd like to talk about in my dissertation. I feel I'm missing out one more thing that I want to talk about, but I don't have a name for it. In order: Gears, Goggles, Corset/Vest, Tea, Mad Science, Adventure, Promenade. None of them touch very deeply on the Maker aspect which is the last thing I want to talk about but I don't have the right word to talk about it.
- I finished stitching my rank braids! Wow, that was really fun and I really want to get back into hand-stitching stuff now. I bought an embroidery hoop a while back so I'm thinking of getting into that. I doodle some stuff while listening to Night Vale:
* Feminist Killjoy (got some dark navy blue fabric and lime green threads for a pinafore, and was planning on stitching this on the front or back)
* some phoenixes
* random pretty flowers (which thus far is my favourite doodle; I haven't decided what colours yet, but I'm going to try some satin stitches)
I'm trying very hard to resist opening the bin to have a look see... it's covered with a hand towel so it can breathe and there's minimal evaporation. I'll give them a week and then check!! In the meantime, I better start eating more plant material so I have something to feed the babies.
- I've found that handsewing is pretty great to do when listening to a podcast! I've finally been intently listening to Night Vale while stitching on my rank braids for my Star Trek blouse. There's something about having something visual to deal with that's kind of mindless while listening to something else. I've tried to listen to Night Vale while laying in bed (can't do it at the computer because then I'd just end up reading other things and lose focus on it) but that just made me fall asleep. I also can't machine sew while listening to stuff either; that takes up too much concentration. Thus I am finally up to #17! Which is ten more episodes that I have been able to muster.
So... I might try to take up more embroidery, maybe?
- I blew through editing today! Also sent out and received contracts.
- I made pork and potatoes tonight. I'm using the tiny potatoes. I am trying to be good and eating a new kind of starch to give my diet some variety.
- I shall turn in early tonight.
Here is a random Takarazuka Revue video:
on the fence. Here are your chances. After years
of moving whatever you do
from one place to another in the manner
that constitutes your work, you have to admit
you know what you think. About tonight
not so much fallen as struggling to its feet, gorgeous
in spite of what it's done to you. All
is forgiven. The loneliness composed on the road, after hours,
off-shift, out of it, or left behind, the vindictive
clairvoyance of local law enforcement, protracted
incidents represented by lacunae in your resume,
strategic negotiations pursuant to the project
of getting the fuck out of there, or making
the best of being stuck where you were,
in those rooms now creaking in a forest of outlived rooms
recalled as eras are recalled, their outmoded fixtures
and period costumes, motes afloat
in parallelograms of windowlight. Who are you?
What of you persists? Your life is built on intervals
the way a chord is, on changes that alter you
by thirds, by fifths, in silences the progression climbs
to where each song ends, and the next begins.
There's analysis of the poem here.
Not death; for who is he?
The porter of my father’s lodge
As much abasheth me.
Of life? ‘T were odd I fear a thing
That comprehendeth me
In one or more existences
At Deity’s decree.
Of resurrection? Is the east
Afraid to trust the morn
With her fastidious forehead?
As soon impeach my crown!
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields
Woods or steepy mountain yields
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flower, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold
With buckles of the purest gold;
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.
The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.
Yesterday I parked just as a big rain storm was starting up, so I ran out of the car when it was raining, but then I turned back to MAKE SURE I locked it. I mean anything is possible, but IDK. I CHECKED THAT I'D LOCKED IT.
This morning I came to my car and the glove compartment was open, and the stuff that was in it was splayed on the passenger's seat (if the compartment had opened accidentally and things had spilled out they'd have gone to the floor) and the stuff that had been lying on the floor/on the seat next to the driver's were lying on the driver's seat. Namely, a pair of pink underwear that I had... lying somewhere in the car (that was not on a seat! Don't ask.) was neatly splayed out on the driver's seat.
I just... WHAT. Nothing was taken - I mean there was nothing valuable in the car anyway, but even the stuff from the glove compartment was intact. There was a speaker thing in there! They didn't even take that! Nothing else in the car had been touched, everything in the trunk was intact. None of the windows were broken or anything, the car started just fine. I... I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
Apparently last night someone broke into my car, found a pair of my underwear and decided to put it on my seat. The disconcerting thing is that I had a name tag from work in the glove compartment, so they also saw my name + place of employment? It's a little hilarious and a little unspeakably creepy. I... just don't even know. I guess it's possible my stuff went topsy-turvy on its own, due to the intense storm. But even though trees and stuff were rattled, I don't really see my car being picked up from the ground and shaken around, which is the only thing that could have caused a pair of underwear to migrate from being crumpled on the floor or whatever to being nicely displayed on the next seat over?
It's possible that I didn't notice that the car was unlocked, I guess, and someone sought refuge from the rain in it? The passenger's side was the one close to the sidewalk, so there's that I guess? And maybe they rifled through my stuff and then politely... got up and left my car alone?
I just... what even. WHAT EVEN.
I’m super excited about this!
Amir posted about how he came to decide to do a cyberpunk anthology on Facebook: Amir’s Facebook post. Very cute! The originator actually provided a list of examples of the genre, so here it is in case you find it helpful:
Blade Runner, Total Recall, Johnny Mnemonic, The Matrix, Akira, Cowboy Bebop, Neo-Tokyo, Dredd
Amir decided pretty quickly, because on the same day, 14 August, I received an email from him asking if I’d like to edit a cyberpunk anthology. I was at Loncon, gearing up for a long weekend of approx. 9,000 panels, while also doing my bazillionth revision of a novel and drowning in work from actual job. I’ve never edited anything other than school magazines, plus I am not super familiar with the genre. I was like omg ////o\\\\
But the answer was yes, definitely. Of course la!
Working with Fixi is very humbling. You spend a couple of days crafting a perfectly balanced call for entries and then Amir says, “Can you cut it down? It needs to fit on Instagram.” And he removes your full stop after your ellipsis!
What I’m looking for
I read a review the other day that made me realise, with shock, that cyberpunk is kind of retro. I hadn’t quite registered that Neuromancer was literally published before I was born. The Matrix was made within living memory, of course, but even so, that was 15 years ago!
But the more I thought about it the more ideal it felt. It’s an old genre that is forward-looking, which is perfect in a weird way for a modern society suffused with nostalgia for an imagined ideal past. It’s all about living inside the Internet and being owned by corporations, which is maybe not an entirely inaccurate description of urban Malaysiana. It also works, obviously, because it’s basically KL NOIR 5 … NOW WITH SPACESHIPS!
So what am I looking for? I’m looking for stories (or creative non-fiction) that explore what cyberpunk can reveal about Malaysia (or vice versa). Stories that show convincingly what Cowboy Bebop would be like if it was set in Alor Setar. No black leather trenchcoats (too hot la), and if we could skip the tired sexism that is so often a hallmark of noir, that would be great. I’d be happy to read both stories that inhabited and played with the tropes of the genre, and stories that tried to do something new with those tropes.
Because cyberpunk was what people thought about the future, and a lot of it was produced in what is now the past, it got stuff wrong. It is an incomplete vision. I’m really interested in what the cyberpunk of now would look like — now that we really do live in the Internet and corporations own our souls. (You could write about separatist farmers! I would love to publish a cyberpunk story that was all about separatist farmers.)
So: cities, systems, cool outfits, robotic or bioengineered enhancements, near-future technology, fighting against The Man. Maybe even optimism? Maybe even that.( Read the rest of this entry » )
Mirrored from Zen Cho.
The Way You Drink Your Coffee (38830 words) by sabrina_il
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Characters: Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews, Adam Burish
Summary: Patrick Kane is a professional dominant, Jonathan Toews is his client.
Guys, it's been a year. OVER a year, actually. I started writing this in July of last year, and finished posting in October. I suppose I can claim I've been working on it for a year proper if I take out the two months I've spent traveling. I remember telling roga, last September as I was gearing up to leave for India, that the story was nearly done and just needed another draft for polish.
I've learned so, so, so much from writing this story. Which is why I stuck with it I guess - even in my darkest hour (more about why there were dark hours in the end notes) I felt like going through this, having this struggle, was teaching me so much about writing. In the back of my mind I was always writing this story as "practice" for writing an original novel, and so no experience was a bad experience, I guess, in that sense.
Writing and posting this story also had an unexpected result in boosting my confidence a little. I have basically no confidence at all in my skills as a writer of fiction (I'm good with non-fiction! but with fiction it's a completely different story). I've struggled with this and will continue to struggle with it, I guess, because the only way to convince yourself you can do something is to actually do it.
About 5 years ago I wrote an original scifi novella. It features a 90% female cast, it's set in a total institution, it talks about adolescence and leadership and friendship and I still believe in it passionately. I still love the characters, the plot, the setting, more than I can say. When, after several rounds of editing it, I considered trying to self publish it in whatever venue, I was afraid of tricking people. I remember explaining this logic out loud to shedonit and realizing how ridiculous it sounded, while at the same time being unable to let it go. Trying to sell my novella, even for a cent, felt dishonest. I'm not a good writer, is the thing, and people might consider buying my story because they know me from my journal, and I will be deceiving them because my fiction isn't actually any good.
shedonit kept asking, "have you edited this story until it's the best story you can possibly create at this point in time?" and I said yes, and she said "then let people make their own decisions". But I couldn't. It made me want to hide under the bed, the idea of "tricking" people out of their money, even if it was a single cent. My work is not good enough.
I still struggle with this, and I'll continue struggling with it, but posting this story in chapters, seeing the reaction to it, has been really, really huge. I have this thing where when people comment and tell me I'm a good writer or the story is really good I just glance over it. Subconsciously I tell myself that they're only saying that because the standards for fanfic are low anyway, or they're just trying to be nice, or they liked the particular kink/character/trope I used and it's not related to my skills at all. But TWYDYC, because it was so long, because I spent so much time on it, because I had to go through a conscious process of "this is good enough" and accepting its imperfections and posting, because I got to see people being excited about it chapter after chapter after chapter, where each time I thought "people will hate this" or "this isn't good enough" people would respond with how positive feedback... it's been huge, just absolutely huge for me. It's not that I have a huge amount of confidence now, but I have slightly more than zero. I guess it's that enough people have publicly liked this story that my brain can't claim they're ALL making it up.
Anyway, my goal now is to get back to writing original stuff, or rather to writing longform original stuff, which is what I was doing when TWYDYC "interrupted". ( more about original projects )
I've arranged them alphabetically, with some notes at the end, and if you want to help me flesh out the notes, you are welcome to do so!
AE Scifi: http://aescifi.ca/index.php/fiction
Apex Magazine: http://www.apex-magazine.com/ (this is the magazine that published "50 Fatwas")
Beneath Ceaseless Skies: http://www.beneath-ceaseless-skies.com/
Betwixt Magazine: http://betwixtmagazine.com/
Bourbon Penn: http://www.bourbonpenn.com/ (slipstream, surreal, magical realism)
Cabinet De Fees - Scheherazade's Bequest: http://www.cabinetdesfees.com/scheherez
Clarkesworld Magazine: http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/ (yes, founded by the Arthur Clarke we read in class)
Crossed Genres: http://crossedgenres.com/magazine/
Daily Science Fiction: http://dailysciencefiction.com/
Delinquent's Spice: http://www.delinquentspice.com/?pa
Electric Velocipede: http://www.electricvelocipede.com/
Every Day Fiction: http://www.everydayfiction.com/ (flash fiction)
Expanded Horizons: http://expandedhorizons.net/magazi
Fantasy Magazine: http://www.fantasy-magazine.com/
The Future Fire: http://futurefire.net/
GigaNotoSaurus: http://giganotosaurus.org/ (for longish fiction)
Goblin Fruit: http://www.goblinfruit.net/ (fantastical poetry)
Interfictions: http://interfictions.com/ (journal of "interstitial" art; generally very unclassifiable SF)
Lackington's Magazine: http://lackingtons.com/
Lightspeed Magazine: http://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/
Luna Station Quarterly: http://lunastationquarterly.com/
Mythic Delirium: http://mythicdelirium.com/ (formerly just poetry, now also prose)
Nightmare Magazine: http://www.nightmare-magazine.com/
Podcastle (audio stories): http://podcastle.org/
Pseudopod (audio stories): http://pseudopod.org/ (horror)
Stone Telling: http://stonetelling.com/ (speculative poetry)
Strange Horizons: http://www.strangehorizons.com/
Tor Online: http://www.tor.com/stories/prose
Unlikely Story: http://www.unlikely-story.com/
If there are more I don't have (and I feel there's one more I saw but I just don't remember what /o\) drop it in comments, too.
There was a break sometime wherein I started playing grad adviser for one of the 2nd year grads who really wants to get her shit together and she knows what to do and I guess it's just hard for her to keep things together.
There was also a fire drill!
During which time I ran into the department chair and asked if I could use travel money from the department to attend SD Comics Fest this weekend. I think he said yes.
Tomorrow there will be an earthquake drill.
- I finished being angry and just ended up sad so I called up EA to ask him if I could have dinner with someone not from the Internet. He busted his knee falling off his bike, but said sure I could come over, so I went by Busy Cafe, went to his place and hung out for a few hours. We talked about comic books, teaching (he's teaching a class on Af-Am art).
- I've booked my tix for SD Comics Fest. PK has a birthday to attend on Saturday so she might not come with me after all. If I don't hear from her by tomorrow afternoon I'll book Travelodge for the night. Lisa has said she can come pick me up from the bus station and get me to the hotel, altho she can't stay the night. There's only the 8pm bus left. I should be okay. I think.
- My friend Skye just made a comparison between #GamerGate and #MooreAndMe. I hadn't thought of the latter in years. Damn.
- I hope my worms will be okay in the mail a few more days =(
I'd like to head out on Thursday, so I can be there for the whole weekend. Which also means I ought to buy tickets.
Anyway. I don't have a place to stay and I really don't want to do the commute thing but I don't really want to stay at the hotel either which is $117 a night. I'm currently looking at the nearby Travelodge, which is $59 on Thurs and then $129 on Friday and Saturday (rounding it up to $99 a night).
Nobody's getting back to me about this though =/
- made spot quizzes on the spot (haha)
- spoke to student who's also a creative writer, introduced her to several SFF authors, gave her brief rundown on publishing, convinced her to do NaNo
- graded spot quizzes
- hemmed my new trousers with a blind stitch hem
- bought lieutenant rank braids because i have a red shirt that looks just like a ST shirt and I don't want to get shit for being a Redshirt
- drink more water
- cook some actual food
- eat more fruit, them apples aren't gonna eat themselves
- get back to editing
- get back to reading research articles
Today another SSL vulnerability was announced. This one is named POODLE and is, while serious, much less serious than the Heartbleed event from some months ago.
Unfortunately, the only real way to fix the problem is to disable something called "SSLv3" entirely. Basically, this means that we instruct our servers that they are no longer allowed to speak version 3 of the SSL protocol (you can think of it as a language -- we ban this language from our servers). It turns out this is generally OK since most browsers don't actually speak using SSLv3 these days -- you actually use what's called TLS, which is a more modern, better way of protecting the stuff you send across the Internet.
The SSLv3 protocol is actually around 15 years old at this point, and TLS has been out so long that nearly every browser out there supports it. However, shutting off SSLv3 does mean that very old browsers -- IE6, for one -- can no longer talk to Dreamwidth using encryption. In this case, since the encryption wouldn't actually mean anything, we think it's better to not even pretend that it works.
I will be making this change sometime in the next hour or three. This really should impact almost none of you, but there might be one or two and, in that case, I'm sorry. We think it's better to do this so you know you're not actually secure than to let Dreamwidth pretend to be secure.
Edit: This has been deployed. SSLv3 is disabled on Dreamwidth.
Comments and questions welcome, as always!
I spent a week in Germany, 6 days in London and 10 days in France and when I came home I dropped like a stone, didn't even shower from the airport, slept for 17 hours straight.
Europe was wonderful. My relatives in Germany were... complicated, I got a cold halfway through the trip and spent overall about 3-4 days incapacitated in bed, I spent more time clothes shopping than I have in my previous three trips combined; I met so many friends I've missed, met some new people as well, had amazing, delicious foods, had so many unusual experiences (half the point of travel, for me). I managed to post nearly all the parts of my fic. The weather was atrocious and wonderful by turns, and oddly I feel like after 3 weeks I'd finally gotten used to layering. And here I am back home, where that skill is utterly useless again, lol. I can proudly state I've converted people to watching Outlander in three separate European countries. Managed to pimp some hockey along the way as well.
Pictures will arrive at some point. I had a... super chill? utterly incompetent? attitude to this trip, so I forgot both my cameras and decided not to worry about it. All things were photographed with my phone. Mostly these are pictures of food, I think - I hope you're all surprised.